Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
