just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
should my penis look like a turkey
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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