Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
