i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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