I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
