I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
