I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
