Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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