Moan for me like Helen Keller
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
