just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
