goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize