Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
