I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
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The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
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Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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