He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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