didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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