ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
