hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
