I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
