I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
