i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
