You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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