that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
