Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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