and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize