peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You can't just leave with hair like that
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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