Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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