Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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