Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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