I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Randomize
