I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i was born a porn star she said
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
