Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
