you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize