i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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