i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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