Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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