stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
