so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I love having hate sex.
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I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
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strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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