happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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