dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
