dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
