i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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