Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
