I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
