Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
