Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize