? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
