There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
