Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
