I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
