Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dick very happy bro
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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