she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
