I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
