If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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