Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
