I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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