Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
