so explain again why im purple
no
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
