Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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