First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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